I couldnt get either of those suggestions to work

I tried the Union one and it said that "this operation is not allowed in sub queries" and highlighted everything from the Second SELECT statment in your example down.
I tried your second one and that didnt give an error but it also didnt return any results
I got some ideas from them tho and this is what i now have and seems to be working?
SELECT *
FROM S12006ReferencesTable
WHERE (((S12006ReferencesTable.Reference) Not In
(SELECT [S12005ReferencesTable].Reference
FROM S12005ReferencesTable
WHERE
[S12005ReferencesTable].Reference=[S12006ReferencesTable].Reference)))
OR
(((S12006ReferencesTable.Reference) Not In (SELECT [S22005ReferencesTable].Reference
FROM S22005ReferencesTable
WHERE
[S22005ReferencesTable].Reference=[S12006ReferencesTable].Reference)));
But this returns duplicates

I have had a look at another thread that suggested using distinct as a way of only returning unique results, but Im not sure how to use it with my query. Can you say, SELECT * DISTNCT?
Thanx for your help so far

Kind Regards,
John Eliot