Not sure I fully have what you want, but perhaps this will get you started. Suppose list 1 is in Column A, and the other in Column E.
In B1 put this formula:
=IF(COUNTIF(E:E,A1)>0,3,1)
copy down to the bottom of column A.
Then in F1 put this formula:
=IF(COUNTIF(A:A,E1)>0,3,2)
and copy down to bottom of column E.
Now, those in column B with 1 are unique to Column A, those with 3, are in both Col. A and Col E. In Column F, if 2, then unique to Col E, if 3, then both in Col. A and Col. C.
Then use this formula as the tally, in G1:
=COUNTIF(B:B,1)+COUNTIF(F:F,2)