so if the server is on the same physical machine, which makes life a wee bit easier. Ive never had the need to install MySQL in shared memory, my installations have alwasy been IP based.
so the first thing to do is to prove the server is actually alive
try to find where the MySQL monitor executable (mysql.exe) and run it from that directory
or if you are going to be creating your own data model for the site you will need some form of admin tool, personally I prefer MySQL workbench fromMySQL, but others are available such as HeidiSQL, PHPMyAdmin and so on.
install one (or more

) of those tools and then wake it up, specifying your server location (either the same IP address as your server OR as localhost)
if the tool cannot find the server then you have a bodged installation, it may also be a firewall issue although thats unlikely on the same physical machine.
if the tools connection attempt is refused then its probably a rights issue, if so retry with the system admin account and password for the server (a default installation is I think root and a null / no password).
once you have established a connection then make certain that you have GRANTed sufficient permissions for your website user to the website db. you should then make cerrtain you use the same userid, hostname and password when making your connection
my guess is that your problem is going to be a rights issue.
if you are using