A general observation - having an index on value is the main reason performance is slowing down after updates. Since the column you are updating is indexed, PG actually deletes the row then reinserts it with the new values which causes bloat. If the column wasn't indexed, PG can use Heap Only Tuple (HOT) updates which dont cause bloat. But, make sure autovacuum is on and the problem shouldn't get too bad.
1. If you have lots of users, this pessimistic locking should be avoided IMHO. But in terms of speeding up the query, I would guess indexing (kind1, kind2, kind3, user1) will help but it depends on your data distribution.
2. It will only help performance if the queries are doing sequential scans on the tables. If they are using indexes, there is no difference. Personally I would avoid them as the PG partition implementation is a pain in the ass.
3. For low selectivity column (ie few distinct values), btree indexes are generally no good. But you can still create them and PG will figure out whether to use them or not. EXPLAIN is your friend here.
4. Sure, nothing wrong with them. (kind1, kind2, kind3, user1) and (kind1, kind2, kind3, value) are best for the queries you've shown. And once 9.2 gets index only scans in place, including the id column will make them even better
